Failure Is Deception

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We often try and fail. That is an everyday occurrence for entrepreneurs. A new marketing campaign that we thought would convert like crazy does not get one click… an offer we thought couldn’t miss converts at less than a tenth of a percent… but we use these failures as benchmarks to test solutions to the poor results.

In relationships, failure usually appears more permanent. If your spouse leaves you because of your character flaws, or when you hit it off wrong with a potential partner… it can seem insurmountable. When you fail to become the person you need to be, you need to look at that as a benchmark, too. You have a starting point, not a final score. This is when you need to have more faith in your ability to adapt than ever before.

Often we see a failure as something inevitable and final. “I made a horrible first impression with her, she is never going to want to see me again!” Even when we agree with that logic, it is really not based in fact. Ok, so that first impression is going to make your subsequent dealings with her more challenging, if you give in to the deception of the initial failure, you are going to keep acting like she is never going to give you a second chance.

But what if you had faith that you could change her opinion of you over time? Would that change how you would behave in future communications with her? It is that faith that you should use to choose your actions when things seem hopeless.

Your business plan may be horrible, so having faith in bringing that xylophone sheet music software to market may be misguided… so seek professional counsel, do your research and know your market. In relationships, you should seek counsel of a professional as well, because you may have some things about you that are a real turn off. That third eye on your forehead may not be the easiest thing to overcome, and you will need to speak to someone who will discuss how you deal with something like that before you invest a whole lot in flowers and candy.

The thing is, you do need to do a lot of work to overcome failure. It is not going to magically solve itself for you. You need to invest in yourself to take yourself out of the losing column and into the winners circle. Look at the NFL teams who finished last in the 2010 season. Detroit looks amazing, because they invested in some good players, and worked hard during the off season to create a synergy that can beat some of the best teams in the NFL.

If your wife leaves you because you leave your underwear on the floor and pee on the toilet seat, you need to learn to pick up your underwear and start sitting down to pee if that is what is really the cause of her leaving. You need to open the lines of communication and actually listen. Then take action. The initial failure was not the peeing and the underwear on the floor, it was the failure to acknowledge that the underwear and wet seat were a problem to begin with. Without a real understanding that your actions are incorrect, you own the failure. If you take the time to learn from the failure, you can begin to overcome it. But you have to want it enough to make the changes that need to be made.

Just don’t allow failure to be the end. That is the real failure.

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