18 Dec 2012 @ 10:31 AM 

When you have been with other people in your life for a long period of time, living alone is the loneliest thing imaginable. It makes all of the faults you had been finding in the people around you seem insignificant. Knowing you are not going to have to fight for the bathroom is not a victory, it wrenches your insides like a blow to the stomach.

So when I get started in the morning, having my cups of coffee, usually I start looking for products to post on WSOInsiders.com… But lately, I find that I am not focusing on anything. I remember that feeling before, when I was diagnosed with depression – and got hooked on the drugs that make you into a drone. Sure, I was smiling, but I never really felt much of anything.

I suppose I should be happy that I am not on the drugs, that I can feel. Feeling is what makes us human. But when you start missing hair in the bathtub and not getting any of the blankets at night… those are the symptoms of loneliness and they really make you feel human.

I am sure this too will pass. So please do not think I am ignoring you. I will be back to normal one way or another. I just hope it is not the medicated me that you see.

 

PS – In the wake of the tragedy in Newtown – my problems are small potatoes. I could not imagine the anguish that I would be feeling if I knew that my loved ones have been taken away from me by someone else. Of course, knowing I am responsible does little to console me.

When one door closes, another opens. I just have to make sure I can keep my eyes open and seeing so I don’t miss it.


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    Posted By: Micheal Savoie
    Last Edit: 18 Dec 2012 @ 10:31 AM

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     14 Sep 2011 @ 5:59 PM 

    For those of you who have been asking what the heck is bothering me, I have to ask you to be patient.

    I never imagined that people could notice a change in the style and content of what someone posts to social media. Ok, so I did sound a little down, I admit it.

    I am still coming to terms with it myself, and I am finding it very difficult to work it out in my own mind. Writing helps, but sometimes the writing becomes too dark and I have to stop.

    My daughter texted me and asked me if I was alright, as she had noticed the darkness in my Facebook posts. I really didn’t want to tell her about it, because it was similar to what she was going through not even three months ago. I had tried to be objective and to tell her she shouldn’t feel so bad, but when you are the one going through it, you really can’t be told that it is just an emotion.

    When it happens to you, it really does hurt. So I am going to send a public apology to everyone I have ever hurt. I really mean it, it sucks that I caused you this kind of pain, and I hope you can forgive me for inflicting that kind of pain to you.

    Anyway, the sorting out process is difficult. I am really trying to avoid becoming bitter (no easy task, when sarcasm comes out without even thinking… so when you spend a lot of time thinking, the sarcasm has a venom to it that makes it really easy to hurt people). Bitterness is the starting point to hatred. I do not want to hate anyone. Hating is a good way to make a bad thing permanent…

    But damn, it is so easy to want to hate. To make the person who has hurt you pay in the worst way.

    Anyway, you probably can tell that I am not comfortable discussing this, and my daughter is the only one I have confided in about this. I really do not need my family in Quebec getting all distraught and trying to make me feel better. Pity sucks worse than feeling sorry for yourself. So rather than expect to get pitied by everyone, it is much better to just go on living and try like heck to put the negative feelings behind you.

    But that damn venom is still in my mouth… I really need to spit it out and get back to the me that the world knows and loves (well most of the world – there are still a few third world countries and at least one person in Ocala that are ambivalent about me) and I am sure that I will.

    Just please bear with me as I sort myself out. And leave me some comments to help me know that I am not alone!


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      Posted By: Micheal Savoie
      Last Edit: 14 Sep 2011 @ 05:59 PM

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       02 Apr 2010 @ 8:44 AM 

      Jeff Johnson’s latest video reveals some new “secret” bonuses that will make you want to thaw out your credit cards and take out a 2nd mortgage. He is giving away so much, it is almost insane! The Traffic Voodoo course itself is worth WAY more than the current price tag, but Jeff is pulling out all the stops to bring more people into his first LIVE coaching in over 2 years.

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      Micheal Savoie

      PS – Be sure and leave comments to let us know what you think about these bonuses.


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