14 Sep 2011 @ 5:59 PM 

For those of you who have been asking what the heck is bothering me, I have to ask you to be patient.

I never imagined that people could notice a change in the style and content of what someone posts to social media. Ok, so I did sound a little down, I admit it.

I am still coming to terms with it myself, and I am finding it very difficult to work it out in my own mind. Writing helps, but sometimes the writing becomes too dark and I have to stop.

My daughter texted me and asked me if I was alright, as she had noticed the darkness in my Facebook posts. I really didn’t want to tell her about it, because it was similar to what she was going through not even three months ago. I had tried to be objective and to tell her she shouldn’t feel so bad, but when you are the one going through it, you really can’t be told that it is just an emotion.

When it happens to you, it really does hurt. So I am going to send a public apology to everyone I have ever hurt. I really mean it, it sucks that I caused you this kind of pain, and I hope you can forgive me for inflicting that kind of pain to you.

Anyway, the sorting out process is difficult. I am really trying to avoid becoming bitter (no easy task, when sarcasm comes out without even thinking… so when you spend a lot of time thinking, the sarcasm has a venom to it that makes it really easy to hurt people). Bitterness is the starting point to hatred. I do not want to hate anyone. Hating is a good way to make a bad thing permanent…

But damn, it is so easy to want to hate. To make the person who has hurt you pay in the worst way.

Anyway, you probably can tell that I am not comfortable discussing this, and my daughter is the only one I have confided in about this. I really do not need my family in Quebec getting all distraught and trying to make me feel better. Pity sucks worse than feeling sorry for yourself. So rather than expect to get pitied by everyone, it is much better to just go on living and try like heck to put the negative feelings behind you.

But that damn venom is still in my mouth… I really need to spit it out and get back to the me that the world knows and loves (well most of the world – there are still a few third world countries and at least one person in Ocala that are ambivalent about me) and I am sure that I will.

Just please bear with me as I sort myself out. And leave me some comments to help me know that I am not alone!

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    Posted By: Micheal Savoie
    Last Edit: 14 Sep 2011 @ 05:59 PM



    Responses to this post » (6 Total)

    1. Just checking the comment functionality…

    2. Yoon Ho Um says:

      Hiya Micheal,

      Hopefully you have someone you can talk to… it’s always nice to be able to vent/rant to a friend. You need a way to let it out. Don’t keep it in and bottle it up (it is nice that your daughter noticed that something was up and you could talk to her)…

      Sorry you’re in so much pain dude.

      Pity may actually be sympathy or empathy… even not knowing the details I think I can understand – in part – what you’re going through Micheal. It is hard to overcome. It’s a real struggle. Re-playing scenarios and outcomes…

      My bff told me a # of years ago “I’m praying for you not to get bitter man…” and that actually helped me feel better.

      Philippians 4: 8 would be a great verse to keep in mind. The whole chapter even. (I do realize just how hard this can be to do -verse 8- from what you’ve written…)

      *Man Hug* and I’ll pray that you not become bitter and full of hatred.

    3. Hey, Micheal!

      First, last & always remember there are a lot of people out here whose lives are brightened by having you in them – including those of TC & me!

      Being no stranger to adversity & setbacks, I’ve learned to get through them with two pieces of sage advice:

      1) Winning is as simple as getting back up just once more often than they can knock you down; and

      2) What’s an ordeal at the time is an adventure in the retelling…

      But damn, it is so easy to want to hate. To make the person who has hurt you pay in the worst way.

      Hate is the ‘black magic’ of the emotional world – it hurts you while doing nothing to the target – a harmful and totally useless emotion. Why waste any of your head or heart dwelling on one who did you wrong? Instead, focus on YOU – and creating your new & happy life that starts as soon as you let it… Remember, the best revenge is living well!

      I don’t know who has hurt you or how, my friend, but I do know that there are a great number of us who like, appreciate and love you – hold on to that and push past this. There’s far too much happiness out there for you to delay capturing it, especially through focusing on something in the past that can never be altered or erased.

      Skype me if you need to talk, bro – always here for you.

      Be well, take care & talk soon…

      Doug Champigny.

    4. Barbara says:

      Micheal, I hardly know you so probably shouldn’t even chime in here… but I just want to say one thing. Find someone you can trust to confide in. When hurt isn’t dealt with it festers and can lead to much bigger problems.

      Keeping the good thoughts and hoping you find peace soon.

    5. Thanks, Doug! I am keeping the faith that everything is going to work itself out in one way or another. Just have to work on myself to facilitate any changes that need to happen!

      We love you too!


    6. The comment is appreciated, Barb! In times when we believe we are alone, it is good to see people show their support. We get stronger with others showing support than when we are alone (or believe we are). So every comment counts!


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