What you say is very powerful.
So is what you allow to affect you.
I have explained in a previous blog post what my home looks like, and I am in the process of getting out of there. But it will take some time, which I did not have when I worked at my job. So I left my job to make my own success story.
Things sometimes do not go as well as we plan them, but I do not let that get to me, instead I use them to my advantage, and even to motivate me.
But I was clobbered today.
My father came to make sure I was still alive because he hadn’t heard from me for the last few days. He was not pleased with my living conditions… he let me know this and then gave me a lecture about leaving my job when I am struggling and how I was a failure and always will be.
I am sure it was meant as some sort of intervention…
Or a motivation.
I have this uncanny ability to just let him talk and defuse his rants by just shutting up. Only today, he was hitting me below the belt and I did not just take it.
He asked me, “Do you really believe you can live like this without a job?”
“First of all, I don’t see this as being where I am going to be living for the rest of my life, and a couple of setbacks does not mean I can’t turn them around. I am not going to be living in these conditions much longer.” I spoke politely, but with a force that was not to be denied! After all, I have plans in place to make this all go away without a forest fire! I am training with some of the best minds in the world and I am not afraid to do what it takes to beat circumstances.
Circumstances are not something that you hide under.
You deal with them and move on. I was devastated after he drove off… felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I knew I had to go in and face my teenage daughters in the house, who knew what I had just been subjected to by the body language of the two of us.
Instead, I put on a smile and went in the house and said, “well that was pleasant!”
Inside I am still kind of numb, and I am using my blog as a therapist, since it is never a good idea to keep everything locked up inside. The more you talk through the hurt, the better you understand it for what it is.
A few minutes later the horn sounded outside and I looked out to see my dad’s van back in the driveway. I braced myself and went back outside and he asked me, “I forgot that I came over to ask you if you were coming over for Thanksgiving…”
Sometimes it is a strange thing to be a parent.
I am going to make damn sure I never call my children failures… because words are way too powerful to be thrown around lightly!
Have an amazing day!
Micheal Savoie
http://twitter.com/michealsavoie
PS – If you have a story that could be helpful to show how you have overcome situations like that where you were taken to the depths of brokenness and then found your way back, this would be a great place to tell them as a comment!
I appreciate every single reader, follower and friend that I have. It was not until I reached the lowest point in my life that I realized who I could count on!
Every Day… Your Ticket Is In Your Hand
Technorati Tags: pain, thanksgiving, words, healing, hurting, failure, success
Previous 
Next 
Seed Newsvine
Categories
Tag Cloud
Blog RSS
Comments RSS
Last 50 Posts
Back
Void 
Life 
Earth 
Wind 
Water 
Fire
I love the “Golden Ticket” photo! That is so true. You can be a victim of your circumstances or a victor! The choice is yours. My dad was always encouraging me as an entrepreneur (he started his company at age 50!) However, my mother never acquired the entrepreneurial mindset. She means well, but just doesn’t get it. She frequently asks why my husband and I don’t want the security of a REAL JOB. There is no security or luck. You just make your own luck by working hard! Congratulations on your decision to be an entrepreneur!
Nancy Sutherland’s last blog post..Direct Sales Secret Tip – Discover the Top 5 Areas of Business to Focus on For Maximum Sales
Nancy,
Thank you! I agree that there is no such thing as security or luck in a job. You are either making things happen and growing or you are coasting. Coasting is the same as quitting, because if you aren’t growing you are dying.
Failures are those who fall and stay there.
We are handed a ticket when we are born. We just have to make use of it!
Have an amazing day!
Micheal
I want you to succeed. In fact, I want you to grow incredibly rich and famous because the better you do, the more you will inspire me to believe in myself and my ability to earn enough online to leave my J.O.B. behind.
I don’t know a whole lot about you, other than the little bit I’ve gathered from following you on Twitter and reading some of the things you’ve posted. However, I am wanting your success darned near as much as you are wanting it because I need to see people succeed so I can believe it for myself.
I’m sorry your Dad doesn’t “grok” what you are doing – but don’t let his unenthusiasm drag you under. You only get one ride on this merry-go-round so you may as well reach for the proverbial brass ring.
Hi Michael – gee, interesting post. I’d like to respond from two different sides, if you’ll indulge me.
As a parent who sees my adult child doing things that I believe are incredibly destructive, but loving her none-the-less, I fight against having the same response as your father almost every time I am with her.
I know better, yet I still find myself “lecturing” about how I think she should run her life because I see her continuing to make the same mistakes over and over, and refusing to step up and do anything different to have the results she says she wants and that she certainly deserves. I know she is capable of so much more and it breaks my heart to watch. So even though I continually remind myself to simply shut up, I often get caught up in her drama, and exhibit behavior that I don’t like and am not proud of. I’d much rather be encouraging her than criticizing her.
I guess it’s part of any parent’s role to want the best for their kids. I suggest that the reason you felt so overwhelmed by sadness and hurt is because you know what your father is saying about you is not true. He is probably like me, in that he loves you dearly and wants only the best for you. However, in his labeling and judgment of you and your actions, he is very wrong in regards to *who* you are. You are not a loser, and you know that. Because you love him, too, you may even be reacting to the possibility that his judgment could be true (even though deep down you know it isn’t). And of course, we all want the good esteem of the people we love and respect.
I encourage you, like I encourage my daughter, to get beyond the words, to look at the intent – he loves you and wants the best for you – and recognize that the way he is doing it is perhaps rather bumbling. If you can do that, you can perhaps forgive him for not being able to express his own pain at seeing someone he loves in pain, too. Or his confusion because he doesn’t have the same frame of reference as you do.
I continually remind myself – and my daughter – that everything really is okay. She is fine and I am fine, and if she’s expressing herself in this world in a way that is different from me, well, that’s fine, too. She is a funny, bright, engaging young woman who has a lot to offer. Her path is not mine, and vice-versa. She will figure it out, or she won’t – and the same for me.
When my mom used try to give me advice that I didn’t ask for and didn’t want to hear, I finally learned to say, “Gee, Mom, maybe you have a point there.” That seemed to satisfy her – she felt acknowledged and she would stop advising me so we could go back to regular conversation. I didn’t have to agree with her and I didn’t have to argue with her.
I try to remember that when I’m talking to my daughter. It doesn’t always work, especially when I see her undervaluing herself, but I do my best to use it as a pattern interruption that puts on the brakes. Or, I end up apologizing for imposing my values on her.
Part of why I chose my husband is because anytime we had an argument, he would be the first to apologize, regardless of whose “fault” it was. To him, it was more important to be in relationship than to be right.
Relationships are complex at best. We can only hope to keep them clear and clean so that when the time comes to say what really matters, I love you and want the best for you, it doesn’t get lost in whatever other drama may be playing out.
Katie’s last blog post..KatieDarden: Well, time to go into the studio – have a crafts market coming in 2 weeks & need to finish some pieces! Haven